Yo. Gamertards

[BroFist]

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really f***ing hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to f*** her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya.

Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm f***ing her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a prawnstar, I wouldn't disagree with them. I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

Pic related, it's me and my bitch

[Latro]

Pencil.. Welcome back!

[Powdered!]

thread of the year

[Mongoose]

Dewd we should hang out

[John]

Hey Fags,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day playing video games. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.




This is me and my bitch

[Mongoose]

Dewd we should hang out, call me

[jaminz]

Shit's so cash.

[Powdered!]

i like it

[jaminz]

I wanna do a triple backflip into a Maserati. that shit would be so cash.

[Labyrinthine]

lawlllllssss

[John]

Well, my life keeps getting better and better. I just dropped my bitch: shes just a whore who slept with my best friend (well, I still wouldnt kick her out of bed for eating crackers). Also I keep BIG PIMPIN, just got a new f***in spendy car (a porsche) and changed my style - calling it BLUE STEEL. And you? I guess the best thing you did in the last month was masturbatin to some drawn animal sex or sick shit like that; well Ill meet two girls tonight and plan to get off with both of them.

So, do the world a favor and kill yourself. You make me sick.


This is me and my car

[Broski]

Hey Comrades,

My name is Zangief, and I will Spinning Pile Drive every single one of you. All of you are fat, American, no-lifes who spend every second of day memorizing my enemies' combos, yes? You are everything bad on XBox Live. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten Perfect match? Must be fun button mashing because of your inability to fight, but you all take to whole new level. Is even worse than selecting Akuma. Don't be stranger. Hit me with best shot, da? I am perfect example of Working Class Street Fighter. Was captain of high school Bear Wrestling team, and starter on my KGB unit. What sports do you play, other than "pleasure self to nude pics of Cammy and Chun Li"? I also have own horse and only share collective farm with three other families. Also have banging hot American Mail Order Bride! (She just blew me... and every other male on collective farm; Shit was SO communist). You are all weaklings who I will kill for advancement of Mother Russia. Do svidanya!

[WinstonThe3rd]

Hello Chaps,

My name is Winston Holmes the 3rd, and I dislike all of you little devils. One could say all you are porky, stupid, 3rd class citizens who spend every moment of their dreadful day playing silly old pictures. You are all that is horrid in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever escorted a beautiful lady? One means, one guesses it is jolly good fun insulting other people because of your own insecurities, but you devils take to a whole new level. This is even worse than meeting Madam Palm and her five beautiful daughters to pictures on Facebook.

It wouldn’t be fair for me to chastise you without giving you the chance to return the favour, pip. Go ahead blighters. One is pretty much perfect. One was captain of the football team (proper football, none of that Yankee tripe), and starter on one’s cricket team. What sports do you play? One also gets straight A's at Eton, and has a spliffingly beautiful lady friend (She just made me tea; crumpets were gosh darn spliffing). You little blighters should sort one’s life out. Cheerio old boy, cheers for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my smashing lady